WAYS TO CREATE AN ABUNDANCE MENTALITY
E.B. White said, “I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
Like White, we get out of bed every day facing a host of choices. There is no one-size-fits-all formula for how we order the day or lead our lives. Each of us must decide what will sustain us, taking into account our energy, values and passions.
Here are some examples of what successful leaders do to buoy themselves as they search for balance.
Developing routines and practices can help with life’s transitions and prevent becoming overwhelmed by competing demands and desires.
Real estate developer Peter Allen starts his day with a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice, online reading of more than a half-dozen newspapers plus the home-delivered New York Times, a special mix of five kinds of cereals with fruit and yogurt and “lots of thinking.” “After a day at the office,” he says, “I still have the energy to teach a class, play golf or tennis or have a wonderful time with the grandkids.”
John Baldoni, a leadership consultant and coach, uses his morning exercise routine to think about what lies ahead for the day. “Running regularly, coupled with lifting weights, gives me the energy I need to think critically as well as creatively,” he says. “I also augment my fitness regimen with golf, which I often play by myself. Walking the course gives me plenty of time to think and reflect and in the process gain insight into the challenges of the day.”
Yoga practice helps Bob Galardi, an executive coach, not only relieve pain and sore muscles but control stress. He uses calm-inducing yoga breathing before heading into a stressful situation.
Integrating home and work schedules can keep one or the other from tipping into the danger zone.
“I enter all the kids’ schedules (soccer, swimming, school plays etc.) into my work calendar and make a point to schedule travel and other meetings so that I can attend at least two or three events per week – even if that event is picking them up from practice,” says Kit Dickinson, president of an information technology company. “The car rides home are a great opportunity to connect with the child and hear how their day went or anything else they want to talk about.”
Being realistic and accepting the obvious – that juggling life and work can be messy – can save a lot of worry and heartache.
“There are always times when work projects overwhelm life and life responsibilities trump work. The only way to avoid these balance swings is to either not have a life or not have to work,” says Marisa Smith, an entrepreneur and partner in an information technology company. “Since neither of these is an option for us, we prefer to be realistic about the fact that there will be days when things will be out of whack. Managing our own expectations helps keep our frustration levels lower and enables us to maintain perspective until the pendulum swings back in the other direction.”
Taking small steps can lead to big results.
Planning guru Alan Lakein, author of “How to Get Control of Your Time and Life,” advocates using a five-minute rule if you can’t seem to get started on a project. Set a timer for five minutes and work on the project. When the timer goes off, move on to something else or set the timer for another five minutes. Most people keep going for much longer than five minutes.
I counsel clients to identify the time of day when they do their most creative work, then to keep that time free of meetings and distractions.
Asking questions can turn up surprisingly helpful answers.
Rick Reid, an account development manager for an office furniture company, advises having the courage to ask others in your life – spouse, coworkers and friends – how you are doing as a husband, colleague and friend. “It can produce powerful revelations and the possibility of change that can bring about better balance overall,” Rick says.
Deborah Orlowski, an internal consultant for a university, was amazed when one of her clients seemed to heal so quickly after her husband’s death at a young age. “I asked her how she did it, and she said, ‘We never left anything undone. When we were angry, we fought and got over it. We told each other we loved each other. We played together. We shared. Sure, I would have loved more time with him, but I have no regrets because there is no guilt. … Nothing was left undone.’ ” That conversation changed Deborah’s life. Now, she strives not to leave anything important undone or unsaid.
Looking more closely at what’s driving your bus can help you steer a little better.
As Rick Reid says: “We are driven in our culture to succeed and to have more. I am just coming to grips with this in the past few years in my own life. How many others are also – those with 3,500-square-foot homes and Hummers in the driveway? How many really get that ‘less is more’? … If our society were not driven by the constant accumulation of money, how might that change the way we live? I like money and enjoy what I can do with it, but it does not rule me.”
