Why do you think business owners have so much trouble asking for
referrals when they know they are so powerful and crucial to their
business?
http://www.la2m.org/events/art-and-science-getting-good-referrals
WAYS TO CREATE AN ABUNDANCE MENTALITY
E.B. White said, “I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
Like White, we get out of bed every day facing a host of choices. There is no one-size-fits-all formula for how we order the day or lead our lives. Each of us must decide what will sustain us, taking into account our energy, values and passions.
Here are some examples of what successful leaders do to buoy themselves as they search for balance.
Developing routines and practices can help with life’s transitions and prevent becoming overwhelmed by competing demands and desires.
Real estate developer Peter Allen starts his day with a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice, online reading of more than a half-dozen newspapers plus the home-delivered New York Times, a special mix of five kinds of cereals with fruit and yogurt and “lots of thinking.” “After a day at the office,” he says, “I still have the energy to teach a class, play golf or tennis or have a wonderful time with the grandkids.”
John Baldoni, a leadership consultant and coach, uses his morning exercise routine to think about what lies ahead for the day. “Running regularly, coupled with lifting weights, gives me the energy I need to think critically as well as creatively,” he says. “I also augment my fitness regimen with golf, which I often play by myself. Walking the course gives me plenty of time to think and reflect and in the process gain insight into the challenges of the day.”
Yoga practice helps Bob Galardi, an executive coach, not only relieve pain and sore muscles but control stress. He uses calm-inducing yoga breathing before heading into a stressful situation.
Integrating home and work schedules can keep one or the other from tipping into the danger zone.
“I enter all the kids’ schedules (soccer, swimming, school plays etc.) into my work calendar and make a point to schedule travel and other meetings so that I can attend at least two or three events per week – even if that event is picking them up from practice,” says Kit Dickinson, president of an information technology company. “The car rides home are a great opportunity to connect with the child and hear how their day went or anything else they want to talk about.”
Being realistic and accepting the obvious – that juggling life and work can be messy – can save a lot of worry and heartache.
“There are always times when work projects overwhelm life and life responsibilities trump work. The only way to avoid these balance swings is to either not have a life or not have to work,” says Marisa Smith, an entrepreneur and partner in an information technology company. “Since neither of these is an option for us, we prefer to be realistic about the fact that there will be days when things will be out of whack. Managing our own expectations helps keep our frustration levels lower and enables us to maintain perspective until the pendulum swings back in the other direction.”
Taking small steps can lead to big results.
Planning guru Alan Lakein, author of “How to Get Control of Your Time and Life,” advocates using a five-minute rule if you can’t seem to get started on a project. Set a timer for five minutes and work on the project. When the timer goes off, move on to something else or set the timer for another five minutes. Most people keep going for much longer than five minutes.
I counsel clients to identify the time of day when they do their most creative work, then to keep that time free of meetings and distractions.
Asking questions can turn up surprisingly helpful answers.
Rick Reid, an account development manager for an office furniture company, advises having the courage to ask others in your life – spouse, coworkers and friends – how you are doing as a husband, colleague and friend. “It can produce powerful revelations and the possibility of change that can bring about better balance overall,” Rick says.
Deborah Orlowski, an internal consultant for a university, was amazed when one of her clients seemed to heal so quickly after her husband’s death at a young age. “I asked her how she did it, and she said, ‘We never left anything undone. When we were angry, we fought and got over it. We told each other we loved each other. We played together. We shared. Sure, I would have loved more time with him, but I have no regrets because there is no guilt. … Nothing was left undone.’ ” That conversation changed Deborah’s life. Now, she strives not to leave anything important undone or unsaid.
Looking more closely at what’s driving your bus can help you steer a little better.
As Rick Reid says: “We are driven in our culture to succeed and to have more. I am just coming to grips with this in the past few years in my own life. How many others are also – those with 3,500-square-foot homes and Hummers in the driveway? How many really get that ‘less is more’? … If our society were not driven by the constant accumulation of money, how might that change the way we live? I like money and enjoy what I can do with it, but it does not rule me.”
Meditation produces beneficial effects for the heart, brain, and metabolic system, according to research done at Harvard Medical School and elsewhere. Anecdotal evidence also abounds about the positive effects of taking 10 or 15 minutes a day to slow the breathing and rest the body.
But meditation is only one of the ways to practice self-reflection. You may prefer to do it in connection with your faith. You may want to keep a journal. Or you may prefer talking with someone on a regular basis - your significant other, a friend, or even another couple. Sometimes it’s easier to be open and reflective with those who aren’t part of your immediate family.
My wife and I see our longtime good friends, Barry and Eileen, a few times a year, and we’ve developed a ritual as part of our get-togethers. We generally have dinner, and then everyone takes a turn, talking about what has happened in the intervening time and whatever else is on the person’s mind. It is self-reflection, practiced within a group. This has been very helpful over the years as we go through life’s ups and downs. It’s not all serious talk, either. We laugh a lot as well. Barry and Eileen have become part of our extended family.
Thanks for reading this excerpt from “Balanced Leadership in Unbalanced Times”. If you would like to learn more about this book, please visit this site http://www.readthespirit.com/balanced_leadership/
Sun at 10:20p
Posted by David Crumm at 12:01 AM | Permalink
My children are grown now and on their own, and I’ve moved from family therapy to leadership coaching. If anything, I’m busier than ever, but even though my circumstances have changed, I still have to work hard at the business of balancing my life.
I’ve employed many techniques in the struggle and advocated many more to my clients. You’ll read about them in the pages ahead. But one of the easiest things anyone can do–and something that has helped me tremendously over the years–is to take a time-out in the form of meditation. I taught myself the technique when I was 21 years old, and now I can tune out the world in a millisecond. If I have a 10-minute break, I can close my eyes and instantly be in an altered state.
I especially like to do this when I feel that midday slump coming on, around 3 or 4 o’clock. I can do it in the office or sitting in my car, but my favorite place to do it is on the porch, hearing the birds sing and the leaves rustle. It’s amazing how energized I feel afterward. And it’s a reminder that sometimes the simplest acts can restore the spirit. I encourage anyone who is feeling out of sync to find a technique like this that will help “pause” the day and replenish the soul.
Another thing that helps to keep me balanced is having my responsibilities at home clearly defined. Otherwise, it might be easy for me to say that I’m too busy to unload the dishwasher or fix breakfast. It’s not as if I have a lot of duties, but I have enough that I can’t pull rank and say my work is so important that I can’t do my part.
Thanks for reading, and remember to visit robsleaders.com!
Here are 20 principles that I think define a balanced leader:
1. You balance your needs with those of others in your organization.
2. You balance your needs with those of others in your family.
3. You manage your energy.
4. You manage your time.
5. You adhere to your values.
6. You keep an optimistic outlook while remaining realistic.
7. You cultivate consistency while adapting to change.
8. You practice self-reflection.
9. You manage your emotional equanimity.
10. You recognize and manage your blind spots.
11. You leverage your strengths while managing your weaknesses.
12. You try to see yourself as others see you.
13. You alternate periods of hard work with periods of sustained rest.
14. You play as hard as you work.
15. You take chances and make mistakes.
16. You acknowledge your mistakes.
17. You learn from your mistakes.
18. You maintain a good sense of humor.
19. You cultivate a cadre of friends and relatives to keep you on the right path.
20. You never do any of this alone.
In unabalanced times, it’s more important than ever to practice these principles. The mark of a good leader is the ability to lead in all kinds of circumstances. In the toughest of times, leaders need to stand on a rock-solid set of core values.
Remember – life almost always is unbalanced, out of kilter, listing or leaning in one direction or another. No matter what, you’ll need the skills and strength to help you steady the ship.
Thanks for reading, and remember to visit robsleaders.com!
THE COACH’S CLIPBOARD
Don’t take people for granted.
Too often we come to expect that people will do their jobs because they are being paid for it and don’t need special recognition.
Mira supervised people in the loan-processing area of an auto dealership. Her staff handled the documents generated by the sales staff, which depended on fast, reliable service to close the deals.
Mira recognized that her job was to remind the sales staff to acknowledge the hard work the loan processors were doing. So one day, the salespeople took the processors out for a thank-you lunch. Not only was the food great, but the back room staff appreciated the acknowledgement of their hard work by the people up front.
THE PLAYBOOK
From Rob’s book, Balanced Leadership in Unbalanced Times, www.robsleaders.com
PLEASE ADD YOUR COMMENTS ABOUT NOT TAKING PEOPLE FOR GRANTED